dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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