If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
