All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
