Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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