she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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