yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
