I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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