Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
