ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
