oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
