i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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