Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
