tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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