shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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