I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
