My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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