i don't like sucking hair
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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