ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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