yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
