literally had 100 drinks last night.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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