i barfeds in our rink
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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