she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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