where am i from again
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
