I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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