i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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