well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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