We won't sleep together?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
