We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
