Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
