I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
