It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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