He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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