she was so not down for the gang bang
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
