tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
