I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
