I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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