It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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