I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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