Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
