we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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