quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Randomize
