I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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