fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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