O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
