I think im going to throw up on grandma
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
