Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
