i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
