My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
