I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
