He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
