OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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