Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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