I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Holy sore nipples Batman
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
